Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
