Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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