If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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