i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
