love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
