I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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