let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
