sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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