Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
