Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
