I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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