Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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