Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
