We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
