Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
