You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
