Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
