Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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