The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
