I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
