I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
