ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
