He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
