is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
so much tequila, so little girl.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
