my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
