Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
