flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
