apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
