I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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