your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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