Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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