What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
