Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
