So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
