Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I look better un-naked...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
