You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i think i just lost a toe
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
