I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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