just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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