i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
