In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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