I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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