Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
