**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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