I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize