Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want to make out with him forever
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
