im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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