Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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