She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
