I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
