Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
