i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
