Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
