Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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