Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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