You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
