I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Your penis caused this!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
