oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
