I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
