We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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