And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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