i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
