bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
