they need to just BURY HIM!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
