The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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